Nuptialem Interruptus
by Gueniver
Summary: This little fic began its life as a challenge from the Spock and I think this is funny. It could very well be that it's not. I have a strange sense of humor. My personal response to the K/S fic that greeted me 20 years ago. Challenge: Spock, Christine, A wedding, the phrases "I do" and "That was the best 100 credits I ever spent".


Nuptialem Interruptus

By Gueniver

Disclaimer: I play with the toys, I put them back. I think this is funny. It could very well be that it's not…I have a strange sense of humor. Paramount owns all things Star Trek. No money was made, no infringement was intended, no animals were hurt in the filming of this, no film was used, no animals were used, or animal products, no peanuts, no stir peanut butter, no gluten, no thank you I'm full…

For more information than you ever thought you wanted about the origins of this story see the Author's Note at the end of this story.

This story began its life as a challenge fic from the Spock and Christine Group.

Challenge: Spock, Christine, A wedding, the phrases "I do" and "That was the best 100 credits I ever spent".

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The official seemed to drone on forever. The language was as foreign as the customs to the Starfleet crew assembled. Altair Soma Colony and the AS Colony on Echo Moon were the only planets in the known galaxy where _this_ particular ceremony could take place.

That is precisely why they found themselves here.

First Officer Spock shifted slightly from one foot to the other. Though the movement was intended to be imperceptible, Captain James T. Kirk turned his head slightly meeting his friend's eyes.

Nothing was ever lost on Jim. Spock idly wondered if the captain's expression mirrored his own. Could the official official not speak any faster?

He could see that his friend wanted the ceremony over as much as he did.

Spock nodded slightly at the man at his side. His captain, his friend for so many years.

Now in a few short moments his spouse. His partner. His – husband? Was there a word for what they were about to become?

Did it really matter?

Spock tried to swallow. He found his throat dry and an unaccustomed prickling sensation on the back of his neck. The moment felt so unbelievable and so very real at once. Jim Kirk and Spock. How was it possible that after all these years they would find themselves here, about to be bound together forever?

As the droning continued he thought of what the crew would think of this new development. He set his jaw in Kirk-like fashion and roughly decided he did not care. He and Jim had discussed the ramifications and decided that they would simply deal with them as they came. It was what it was and it was no one's business.

They were surrounded and supported by their friends of so many years, McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Checkov. Each wore the local finery as befitted such a special occasion.

The official drew in a deep breath. He signaled that they were nearing the end by pulling an embroidered cover over the great stone tablet of sacred text that he had been reading from. There was a pregnant silence as he moved around the great podium to stand between the two men before him.

Spock was certain he could hear his crewmates shifting uncomfortably in the pews behind him.

The official raised his hands in benediction and brought them together with a great clapping sound that startled Kirk enough to actually jump. He looked embarrassed for a moment, eyes on Spock then flicking to the ground as he shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

The official produced a piece of parchment paper from a pocket on the front of his flowing vestments. He brought it up close to his small black eyes and began to read in thickly accented Terran.

"Because you are not of our world, the words of your people shall finalize your union." He cleared his throat and began reading the ubiquitous text, "Dearly beloved we are gathered here in this holy place to bring together these two in the holy state of matrimony." At this he lowered the paper and looked at each of the witnesses in turn. "If anyone has any just cause why these two shall not be joined speak now or forever hold your peace."

As the silence stretched on the official lifted the paper script to complete the ceremony.

A thundering crash echoed from the corridor beyond the sanctuary.

The official froze, mouth agape as the double doors exploded inward. Christine Chapel and Nyota Uhura stormed in phasers in hand.

"I do!" Chapel shouted.

Spock spun and exclaimed in great relief "The women!"

A Starfleet rescue team stormed the sanctuary, fully armed and fully female.

"I don't believe these men are here of their own free will, Mr. Minister. Would you care to pause for a moment while we discuss it? Or shall I simply stun you where you stand?" Uhura shouted across the room.

The official cringed at their arrival and turned to run out of the room via a back door but two red skirted security officers armed with phasers stopped him.

The captain turned to face the pair of women who had lead the effort and for a moment it appeared he was angry.

"Commander Uhura! Lieutenant Chapel! I gave very clear orders that no one was to beam down to the planet."

Uhura instantly looked guilty, but it was Chapel who spoke first. "Yes sir you did. But when you didn't check in with security we started to get suspicious."

"We got suspicious? **We** who exactly?" He moved forward with an edge to his voice.

"Well, Christine, uh Nurse Chapel and I did sir." Uhura found her voice. "Commodore Wesley and Ambassador Cerivolk insisted everything was just fine, but well – "

Kirk clasped his hands behind his back, with a slight glance found Spock at his shoulder likewise at ease. He nodded his head patiently, "Yes, go on."

Christine had had enough of the beating around the bush, "Well, sir frankly we don't trust the ambassador. Call it women's intuition, but we just had a feeling about him. We decided to take a chance and come see for ourselves."

"Indeed?" Spock spoke up, "A _feeling_?"

McCoy came up behind the pair an arm on each of their shoulders, suddenly quite happy. "Well frankly I don't care what happened. _I'm_ glad to see you. I was afraid I was going to have to watch him kiss the bride!"

No one dared indicate who was the bride and who was the groom.

The Captain and First Officer shot him twin withering looks. McCoy chuckled but backed away to the now laughing entourage of crewmen in the pews.

But for the women there was only a beaming smile from their captain and an uncharacteristically relieved expression from the first officer.

Kirk rushed them both with a giant bear hug, squeezing hard and not caring whether it was appropriate or not.

He released them and turned with scorn to look one last time on the Altar of Purity where he and Spock had been forced to stand.

Despite their protests, the colonists just did not believe that the pair could possibly not want to be wedded. The signs were all there, they insisted, plain for all to see. It was written and ordained by their god and nothing could stop what had been so prophesized and blessed.

With a great sigh of relief Kirk pulled out his communicator. "What I don't understand is how you got past the Commodore's security entourage."

Christine smiled at Uhura as they took their positions behind the Captain and the First Officer for beam out. She just winked playfully at her friend, "Let's just say it was the best 100 credits I've ever spent."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Author's Note: A reader has pointed out that this story might be mean because I have mocked a K/S -ship.

20 years ago my husband left me for the best man. I had two very small children and no social life. I was sad, alone and looking for love in all the Trek places. I discovered that there was this wonderful universe of Star Trek fan fiction. It kept me entertained when the kids went to bed. I _loved_ the ASC and ASCEM stories - I loved Greywolf and Killa and all of the Treksmut alum (OMG - "Turning Point"! Anyone else love it?). But there was a serious gap in the het Spock world. With the exception of some seriously Mary Sue stuff (no judgement here - I'm as guilty as the next person) there was very little S/f stuff. What was posted was flamed mercilessly.

So when the S/C group popped up on my sensors I joined right away. The challenge was not to be mean to anyone. This challenge reply was meant in fun. And I still laugh when I see the videos of early Spock shouting "The Women!" - so ... well this is what happened.

Mean? I surely didn't intend it to be that way.

But I wanted you to know.


End file.
